✶ The Art of Journaling Part 2: Look back to learn ✶

(This is Part 2 of “The Art of Journaling” ~ To read Part 1, please scroll down to the next post.)

I have read a number of self-help books over the years and have often come across advice suggesting the benefits of keeping a journal. However, that advice was usually accompanied by more advice suggesting NOT to reread what I had written. I was often left with the impression that journalling was only to be used as an outlet — and that there were no benefits to be gained by rereading past entries. In fact, I was led to believe this could potentially be a bad thing to do so. Some books even advised burning my journal once it was full as a ritual to release the past rather than holding onto it for all eternity.

Okay, so that does make sense. If the only objective of writing in a journal is to purge thoughts and emotions that no longer serve us, then yes, I do see how the act of burning those memories can be an effective symbolic gesture toward releasing that negative energy from our lives.

However, what of the wonderful gifts that inevitably find themselves on those pages in the form of insights, creative ideas and invaluable pearls of wisdom that can facilitate our growth and serve as a chronicle of our process from where we were at the time when we wrote those heartfelt words to where we are now as we reread them.

So much can be revealed to us about ourselves by referring back to our personal history. Even though I am a firm believer that we are not our past, we are definitely a product of it. How can we know where to go if we never look back to see where we have come from…to learn from both our mistakes and our triumphs?

Allow me to give you a personal example. After a particularly bad breakup about eight years ago, I felt emotionally in tatters and wallowing in my misery. I was deep in my “Why does this keep happening to me?” victim mode when, for some reason, one day I just picked up an old journal from about three years before and began to randomly read it. Now, this was going against everything I had ever read in self-help books, particularly because this was an extremely vulnerable time for me to be doing so. But I felt compelled to read on and ventured forth regardless.

A few pages into it, I came across what proved to be the most valuable wake-up call I could have ever imagined. This one particular entry was about another break-up a few years prior. What I read shocked me into a harsh, yet necessary, reality about myself. The words I had written on that page were exactly how I was feeling at the very moment I was rereading them. In fact, I could have written that exact same journal entry word for word three whole years after a breakup from an entirely different relationship.

My heart sank and my jaw dropped as I sat there in tears at this eye-opening revelation. How was this possible? I realized in that time-stopping moment that the only real common denominator in both of those relationships was… me.

Now, had I adhered to the advice of countless self-help books and not reread this significant piece of my past, I would have never discovered that this was a pattern. “I have patterns?!” No wonder I was so profoundly unhappy on such a core level. By being unaware of the concept of even having patterns, I wasn’t learning from my past experiences, dooming myself to recreating the same miserable reality for myself over and over.

Since that fateful day, a whole new world had opened up for me. Of course, in my usual negative Kylen style, I felt awful and began to promptly beat myself up for even having “patterns”. Not knowing that this discovery would turn out to be one of the most important pinnacles of my human experience, my wallowing took on a whole new dimension.

At the time, I didn’t have the tools to properly deal with this new fact about myself. On some level, however, I did intuitively know that this was a good thing for me to know. It was an opportunity for me to learn more about myself and my unhealthy “patterns” (and yes, we all have more than one) in order to be able to change them and create new healthier ones to replace them.

In the meantime I had to find a way to be okay with simply being aware of this “pattern” without knowing exactly what to do about it just yet. (see my LAAH article “Awareness: Is it Really Half the Battle” for more on this subject). The tools would come with experience, study, self-reflection and personal time and effort. I had to find a way to be okay with that…and I eventually did.

______________

Many years later, with a wealth of accrued knowledge and experience under my belt, I humbly share this and many other life changing tales with both my readers and my clients. As a Personal Life Coach, one of the tools I encourage my clients to engage in is journalling. Speaking from experience, journalling most definitely can prove to be an integral resource along ones personal journey. It serves as a chronicle of not only our process but also, and more importantly, our progress.

By revisiting our past from time to time (but not dwelling in it, of course) and by rereading our “chronicle”, we can see more clearly where and how we’ve grown and made awesome positive changes for which to celebrate. As well as where perhaps we still need to focus our attention to help shift out of old negative patterns that may be holding us back from truly moving forward towards creating more inner peace, fulfillment and happiness in our daily lives.

Keeping a journal can be anything you envision it to be. Yes, it is an outlet for purging emotions, however, it can be so much more. Let your creativity have some fun with the process. After all, it is a chronicle of your life and there are many wonderful things that happen along the way. It doesn’t only have to contain all of the doom and gloom of the not so pleasant thoughts and events in our lives.

As humans, it has been scientifically proven that we have a tendency to focus on the negative; for that reason, I encourage my clients to always end every journal entry with something positive to balance out the energy we pour into it …a favourite quote, clippings of beautiful images, empowering words or quite simply…”I love you!”

Soul searching is a beautiful and at times difficult process, but wouldn’t it be great to know that you have a true “friend” along the way to help you through the tough times, and when you look back, to remind you of all the amazing times and how awesome you are too?

Happy soul searching!

(The Art of Journaling ~ Part 1 and 2 were originally posted in Nov. 2011 on the site Life as a Human)

✶ The Art of Journalling Part 1: Let Go and Let Flow ✶

Keeping a journal or diary can give you deep insights into your life, in good times and difficult times.


One childhood pastime many children have engaged in at some point or another is keeping a diary. Some of us dabbled; others wrote our little hearts out religiously. Out of those dedicated to daily “Dear Diary” entries, some have even considered that book of blank pages their only true “friend,” a place where thoughts, feelings and even secrets were shared and entrusted. As anyone knows, growing up is not an easy time for many people. Sometimes, keeping a diary is the only thing that keeps people going, serving as a healthy outlet to purge teen angst.

Personally, I was a dabbler. Not fully grasping the benefits of writing my thoughts, I just wrote the odd thing here and there but nothing major or significant. For the most part, I was one of those kids who suffered in silence, keeping everything brewing inside. It wasn’t until much later in life that I took to keeping a diary, or journal, as I prefer to call it.

About a decade ago a small group of friends and I decided to commit to reading The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron. For those of you unfamiliar with this amazing book, it is a 12-week personal development program designed to tap into and rediscover your creativity. Each of the 12 chapters in the book has a set of exercises. As a group we made a commitment to support each other through the process by meeting every Sunday to share and discuss what we had discovered and experienced during the week.

One of the ongoing exercises we had to absolutely commit to doing was something called “the morning pages”, which was basically waking up every morning at least half an hour before we normally would start our day and simply sitting and writing three full pages of “stream of consciousness.”

Writing in a “stream of consciousness” means just letting whatever comes to mind out on paper — without editing, without censoring or judging, without paying any attention to spelling mistakes or grammar, without crossing things out or even really thinking about what to write. It’s just simply letting whatever needs to come out to be expressed uninhibited by self-judgment or negative criticism.

You would think that this might be a simple enough task. However, imagine having to get up earlier than usual when you are not only NOT a morning person but a “snooze” button fiend to boot. And then having to sit and write three full pages of whatever, everyday for the next 12 weeks. That’s three whole months! That’s 84 days!

“That’s insane!!” I thought to myself. “I can’t do that!” Now, had I been doing this book on my own I would have turfed the idea before it had even begun. In fact, I had attempted it the year before and made it a little less than a quarter of the way through. This time, however, I had back up. There were eight of us committed to suffering the same fate and supporting each other through this 12-week process.

For most of the first week I found myself angry at having to do this. “This is stupid!” I thought. “I don’t know what to write! I have nothing to say! This is pointless, I could totally be sleeping right now!” But I had made a commitment to seven other people who were all counting on me to be a part of this. So I forced myself to get up early, sit and write… or “put up and shut up!” as the saying goes.

Such harsh words, hey? Yeah, that was me during my negative phase of life — I was a “glass half-empty” kind of gal back then. Thankfully, one of the many valuable bits of wisdom I have learned over the years is that gentler self-talk is more effective to encourage and motivate me to move forward. Thus I created a more positive expression for myself to use instead. Accompanied by a few deep breaths, I now say, “Let go and let flow.” Ah yes, that’s much better!

During most of that first week —I kid you not, I actually sat writing the same sentence over and over. “I don’t know what the #@*& to write! I don’t know what the #@*& to write! I don’t know what the #@*& to write!” Three whole pages worth every morning for almost five days. Suddenly, half way through day five’s entry of “I don’t know what the #@*& to write!” it began to pour out of me. Just random thoughts at first. Some creative in nature, others more personal. Once the personal flood gates were open, a torrent of pent up emotion began to cascade out onto the blank pages before me.

Tears streamed down my face as this cathartic release opened the door to my soul. Needless to say, I wrote way more than three pages that morning. WOW! Who knew? I certainly didn’t. And believe me, I fought it most of the way, until I just couldn’t fight it anymore.

That was the beginning for me. At long last, I had found an outlet for my adult angst. Those amazing 12 weeks came and went and yet I continued to spill out my guts into this inanimate object full of bound paper — sharing and entrusting my thoughts, feelings and even secrets with my new “friend.”

Journalling has been my saviour in many respects. I didn’t realize how invaluable it has been to me until years — and many journals — later I discovered what a powerful tool for personal development journalling actually can be.

Sure it was a healthy outlet for me to finally let out so much of what I had been harbouring for so long, but it was so much more than that. It was, and is, a chronicle of my personal journey. It contains a wealth of knowledge and insight into my experience as a human — my pains, my sorrows, my fears and insecurities, as well as my joys, my loves, my triumphs, my sketches and creative ideas and most importantly, my growth.

Happy soul searching!

☆ From Impulse to Opportunity: Navigating Life Changes ☆

An increasing number of people are turning to personal life coaches for assistance and guidance in their quest for self-fulfillment.

Through coaching we learn to ask ourselves simple yet powerful questions that provoke introspective thought, promote self-discovery and empower us with the motivation to create positive change in our lives. So what inspires people to seek the guidance of a Personal Life Coach?

Well, from time to time we get impulses for change. It may be that we get inspired or we’re being challenged in some way. Maybe we get a flash of insight or a brilliant idea that needs direction and refinement. Perhaps we are overwhelmed by the expectations of our busy everyday lives, or we’ve simply had enough of repeating self-defeating patterns that hold us back from living up to our truest potential and being sustainably happy.

Whatever it is that inspires or ignites the urge for change in us, this urge signals that a door of opportunity has opened. You may choose to ignore it, let the passion to do things differently fizzle into complacency once again. Or you can choose to take action and make these desired changes a reality.

Often we get excited about our new-found path but aren’t quite sure how to take the first step. Or perhaps the first few steps come easily, yet over time the excitement loses its luster. Hence, old patterns return and we are quick to settle back into our routine. Before we know it we’re right back where we started.

For some people this may be accompanied by the negative inner dialogue of failure and self doubt. This creates a vicious cycle that almost certainly keeps us stuck, feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled personally and with the world around us. An underlining unhappiness inevitably lurks within when we are not living up to our truest selves.

Impulse for change is our intuition telling us that we want more from our lives. However, impulses are fleeting by nature and thus do not last. Without seizing the opportunity when it arises, our natural tendency is to let these impulses fade and keep our old patterns alive despite our desire for change.

If we choose to ignore our impulses, we begin to feel restless on a profound level. We know that there’s something just not quite right, but we can’t seem to put a finger on it. Not understanding this restlessness, we begin to seek ways to silence it. Some people use TV, movies, alcohol, smoking, drugs, over eating, and unhealthy relationships, just to name a few of the ways we try to calm this restlessness. We become quite creative in our ways to distract ourselves from … well … ourselves.

Imagine what would happen if we harnessed that “creative” energy positively and constructively to create a world that makes us genuinely happy. Coaching is about keeping the momentum of change going to ensure that our impulses, passions and dreams become reality.

It is an amazing opportunity for growth and transformation. It encourages and empowers us to take action when the impulse for change arises, and facilitates the creation of new habits over time that eventually help us become healthier in mind, in body and in spirit. In light of this, our apathy and complacency toward our unfulfilled lives and the world around us begins to wane as we consciously shift into a more positive and pro-active state.

Unfortunately, too many people wait until crisis occurs before consciously making the effort to change unhealthy habits and behaviours. Ask yourself, are you truly happy with the manner in which you live your life? Or are you simply not unhappy enough to do anything about it?

Do you get in the way of your own happiness? If so, it may be of value to ask yourself what may be the motivating force behind your unwillingness to step out of your way. What will you do next time you have an impulse for change? Will you get excited briefly, yet still choose to remain inactive and let it fade away into the abyss of unfulfilled dreams? Or will you step up, take action and make your dreams a reality?

What will it take for you to want to move forward and create the life you truly want? Positive change can happen — it’s never too late — because happiness is but a matter of choice. That choice is ultimately yours and only yours to make. So what will you choose?

Happy soul searching!


(article written by Kylen O. Lefave ~ originally posted on the site http://lifeasahuman.com/ on March 3, 2010)

ॐ NAMASTÉ ॐ

Namasté is a common spoken greeting or salutation originating from India and Nepal.

A few interpretations ...

Namasté is one of a small list of Sanskrit words commonly recognized by Non-Hindi speakers.

"I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me." ~ attributed to but not claimed by author Deepak Chopra

"I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Integrity, of Wisdom and of Peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One."

"Your spirit and my spirit are ONE." ~ attributed to Lilias Folan's shared teachings from her journeys to India.

"That which is of God in me greets that which is of God in you."

"The Divinity within me perceives and adores the Divinity within you."

♥ Namasté ♥


(courtesy of Amanda Mae Tze)

☆ OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS ☆

✿ ARE YOU TRULY HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOUR LIFE IS CURRENTLY UNFOLDING? 

... IF NOT, ARE YOU UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

✿ ARE YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND LIMITING BELIEFS GETTING IN THE WAY OF YOUR HAPPINESS? 

...IF SO, WHEN WILL YOU SAY *ENOUGH* TO WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK AND MAKE A CONSCIOUS AND COMMITTED EFFORT TO CHANGE IT? 

♦ NOW is the only time you truly have! Your POINT OF POWER is ALWAYS in the PRESENT moment! So how many moments will you allow to slip by before you CHOOSE to OWN YOUR LIFE, TAKE ACTION and MAKE IT HAPPEN?! 

♦ BECOME the DRIVING FORCE behind your JOY and SUCCESS and SEIZE this amazing OPPORTUNITY to be PRO-ACTIVE and CREATE the POSITIVE CHANGES you really want to bring into your life and learn what it will take to maintain them!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☯ As a Personal Wellness Coach, it is my deepest passion to help you make a POSITIVE DIFFERENCE in your own life. To keep you FOCUSED and ACCOUNTABLE so as to maintain the MOMENTUM necessary to CREATE FULFILLING and LASTING CHANGE. To cultivate a sense of INNER PEACE, WELL-BEING and HAPPINESS on a more sustaining core level ☯

♥ LET"S GET YOU SMILING FROM THE INSIDE OUT ♥

~ OWN YOUR LIFE! ~ STEP INTO THE DRIVER"S SEAT and say a resounding YES! to MAKING IT HAPPEN!! 

...And the very FIRST STEP you can take toward doing this is SIMPLE and my GIFT to you ~ Accept my INVITATION for an hour of TEA & CONVERSATION and let's chat about... 

☆ WHERE YOU ARE NOW, WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK FROM WHERE YOU WANT TO BE and WHAT IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO CREATE MORE HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE! ☆

Yes it's that simple! 

So ACT NOW...cuz there's no time like the present...EMAIL or CALL me and let's BOOK our TEA DATE, shall we? 

☆  YOUR  TEA  IS  ON  ME!  ☆

I look forward to hearing from you very soon 

in LOVE, ABUNDANCE, HEALTH and PROSPERITY ♥

☯ Namasté 

much bliss ♥
~ Smilin' Kylen ~

*PLEASE NOTE* 

"TEA & CONVERSATION" is an *in person* experience applying to Greater Victoria, BC residents only ~ However, the great news is that....even if you happen to live anywhere else in the entire world the "CONVERSATION" portion of my invitation is available via TELEPHONE or SKYPE.

Please feel free to contact me for more details.

A wonderful TED. Talk about "Connection" and Vulnerability

One of my Happiness Heroes

enjoy!

♥